12-24-2021 Thinking so much of you. More than usual, which is a lot. Hoping that things are not too stressfull during the holidays. Wishing that we were cuddled on the couch right now. The solitude this time of year is damaging me every second, just constantly thinking about what we could be doing together. Not hearing a single word from you is destroying any hope I was barely latching onto. Or am I just convinving myself that there's anything even left. Thinking in hindsight that there was something that you were waiting or expecting me to do over all of this time and I didn't do it. Also, thinking that this silence is indcative that you are with someone else and/or that that's what all of this was about to begin with. I'll never know and that will be my downfall.